sticks and stones

Sticks and stones may hurt my bones but words may never hurt me. This is such a lie!  Do you remember saying this as a child? I do! And even then I didn’t understand what it meant. You see words hurt much more deeper than sticks or stones. Words can never be reversed after they are spoken. Today was a rough day for me. I heard something today about my husband that cut me to the core. Why people do not think before they speak is beyond me. Just because you have an opinion doesn’t mean you need to share it with everyone you know.

The word says from

Proverbs 3:3Be careful what you say and protect your life. A careless talker destroys himself.


Proverbs 3:5- Honest people hate lies, but the words of wicked people are shameful and disgraceful.

This is indeed true, we must be very careful what we say and to who, it can deeply hurt someone. Please let me clue some of you in to this, your pastor and his family have feelings, we hurt, cry and laugh, we even bleed. We are not immune to hateful speech, just because we serve an righteous God, and try to love everyone, some of you make it hard! Just be cautious of what you say.

In another instance before we speak we need to find out all the facts. Again just because you feel one way doesn’t give you the right to lash out and hurt someone. Word are very powerful, God said in

Matt. 17:20He said to them, “Because of your little faith. For truly, I say to you, if you have faith like a grain of mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move, and nothing will be impossible for you.”
 this is how powerful our words are e can move mountains! And we can tear them down.

Psm 34:17Keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking deceit.

Ephesians 4:29Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.

Please lets remember our words can either uplift and encourage or they can tear down and destroy. Words are powerful, they come from the heart. Make yours and mine show love, grace and forgiveness.


In Him.




what makes you happy?

A few weeks ago I had the awesome privilege of teaching the preschool class at church. I only had one sweet little girl, but it was all worth it. We looked at 1st Samuel 16:14-23 ,  I asked her what makes her happy? What do you think a 5 year old would say? playing outside! Yep that’s what she said!! And mac an cheese! Oh how life is so simple at 5! I started to think what makes me happy?

I had had a rough week at work then, I still remember it even though it’s been a while, I thought everyone was cray cray. So when I got to go home, I took a long bathe soaking in some essential oils, put some music on and hubby brought me a soda, while he went and make dinner. (yep he’s prince charming).

It amazes me how something so simple can improve your mood.bath

David helped to heal Saul’s depression through music. Music has many healing properties, it can relax you, it helps to remind you of good things, it can evoke many emotions good or bad. God gave us music to be enjoyed, to love, laugh, and cry with. God gave us music to worship Him with.  The band Petra sand a song, ‘God gave rock n’roll to you”. I totally get that, and I so know that its not everyone’s favorite,(rock n’ roll that is) but that’s ok too. We are all made differently, and that’s why we are all wonderful creations.rock

The whole point of this blog here, was to notice what helped Saul in his depression. It ultimately was that he was separated from God, this is what caused his heart ache, and God gave him the music to soothe him.

God is our ultimate joy, He is the one that makes us feel better, He replaces the sorrow with joy, the tears with laughter, the sadness with happiness. He is the one that will never abandon,hurt, destroy, disappoint, or stop loving us. Our God through His precious son Jesus never will! So the next time your down, and you do something that makes you feel better, remember God provided that to you. Sit back and marvel at all He had done.

Stop and smell the roses, gaze at the beauty of a sunset, and the amazing smile of a newborn, and just think of Him!sunset

Love Dee



Pray for my enemies, HUH?

Bless those who curse you , pray for those who mistreat you Luke 6:28.

Ya OK, that’s OK for me to tell others but when someone does that to my family, my husband it ain’t that easy! I’m going to tell you right now this is not going to be a feel good blog, I ‘m going raw right now. This is very fresh in my heart and mind.  As some of you know my man is a pastor and I love being a pastors wife, but I am  no more spiritual than the rest of you that come to church. I sin, I fall, I hurt, I am human, and when someone intentional hurts my man, yep its on!


Now I know the first line of this blog in which I said, I tell others this, I do, and I really mean it, and I know the scripture also, I know the word, but sometimes He has to remind me that I have to turn to Him, when people are just plain ugly.

When I first started to write this, I was very angry and hurt and all the above. I didn’t care about turning the other check, I wanted to slap that cheek! ( I told you this was going to be honest). But since this happened I believe it was a couple of  weeks ago, things have happened. I am not going to tell you that I was all spiritual and the “good Christian” and everything worked out great, and we sang kumbaya. Yeah that didn’t happen.  But God spoke to me through my eldest son, he said,”Mom, I know its hard but pray for her.” I was like who is this kid??? Didn’t he hear what I told him this woman said to his  dad? Yep he did. And so did the Father. He knew, He heard and I’m sure it hurt Him too. But how could I pray for her? Oh sure I could tell my church members to do this, but me? Why should I? Well let me tell you when you say that to the Father He’s gonna tell you why! Because He has forgiven me!

But ,But, But. Yeah that isn’t going to fly, there is no buts in forgiveness. Now you maybe saying, ‘Debbie really is this the first time you’ve had to do this ?’  NOOOO and it never gets easy. I have been hurt by more Christians and their words that anyone else.  But what it does do, is frees me up from holding onto the anger, resentment, bitterness that can and will develop with me. This doesn’t hurt the person who hurt me, it hurts ME!!!

Then there’s this scripture again that God used to smack me ever so loving,  Matt.7:2,  For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Yep this one. I want the Lord and others to judge me with compassion, not anger, and this is exactly how I was not judging this woman. I was angry, hurt, I wanted to tell her off.  Now let me make this very clear, what she did was wrong, rude and just plain mean, but my response needs to be one of forgiveness. God will take care of His own, and of which she is. Daddy knows what happened and I know Daddy will take care of it. I am only responsible for my actions, not how others will respond. Did she ever apologize? NOPE! Will she ever, probably not, but that’s on her, and between her and God. And I know the Father He will deal with it!

So yes my kid knew what he was saying, makes my mothers heart proud that my son knew the word, but had the boldness and love to tell his mother the truth I needed that day. Thank you again Lord for creating in me a clean heart!





Yoga Anyone?

          Yoga anyone?  Yes I know what I’m asking, but it’s not what I mean. I really thought I had what God wanted me to write about, and then He goes and changes what I’m writing. I’ll save the other one for another date.
So back to Yoga; have any of you done this perverse sense of exercise, that they say offers relaxation but in all actuality how anyone can relax while doing such things as downward dog I will never know!
But the reason why I said yoga anyone is this, what does yoga really offer? When you practice yoga (and it is a practice, have you seen these moves?) you get discipline, patience, strength, and most importantly FLEXIBILITY!


We had a meeting after church today where we planned out the calendar for the year, I kept saying as a joke, “let’s be flexible this year”. And really in a church and trying to plan an entire year, we need to be flexible.  Who can determine what is going to happen in October? Or how hot the weather will be in August to have a picnic?

But after I got home, that thought really started to get to me. In all reality we do need to be flexible. You got kids? Well things don’t always run smoothly, sometimes you need to adapt, be flexible, and go with the flow. It sure makes life a little easier. Now I know you can’t always be that easy going, like it’s time to eat or its time for bed, you know those things. But other things you can. Have you ever rushed to get out the door to end up sitting in traffic for over an hour? Do you get mad, lose your temper, and fret over it? I have, but then God in His mercy gives me a glimpse of why He made me wait and it’s always to my advantage. I’m not saying that because every time you sit in traffic that’s because God is saving you, but sometimes He is.

When we take the time to relax a little and be a little flexible about things, we let go of a lot of stress. If we can look at situations and ask ourselves is this really that important that it has go the way I planned, or can I change it? Maybe we will enjoy our lives more, our jobs, and our families. Take time to breathe, relax and enjoy yourself.

Remember the Marine unofficial motto “improvise, adapt and overcome”. To me that means “BE FLEXIBLE when you can. That’s my goal for this year , and maybe I’ll throw a little downward dog in the mix, who knows maybe I can become physically flexible also!

Are you holding the handles?

Hand Holding Handle Stock Photo - Image: 26722270

I heard this said once by a deacon at our church, then my husband used it in a sermon. It got me to thinking, have you ever been told to hand it over to God? I’m sure you have I have, so many times that I cannot  even count. Then this is  the question, do we really hand over our baggage? We may very well  be sincere and attempt to leave it but the reality is we hang on to the the handles. I have numerous times prayed and laid at the feet of Jesus  my burdens, then to get back up from there still hanging on to those handles. It seems that my faith cannot totally let God handle all of my burdens, including the smallest parts of it. Why do you think we do that? After all I am trusting an unseen God for my eternal life, where I’m going when I die, but I can’t trust Him to handle all my financial problems? or my marriage problems? or even the trouble with my kids? Wow that makes a lot of sense, doesn’t it? No it doesn’t;  now before I get really down on me or you, I do realize that I am human, but hey what an excuse, We use this all the time. I have been a christian since I was 7, fully dedicated to Him who saved me since that biker guy and  I  got married. Lets look at this from the beginning of what I said, ‘my faith cannot totally trust God.’ Well lets get to the understanding, it is not my faith! The faith I claim I receive is from Him  the one who saved me.

Eph.2:8-9 scripturepics_image_170_20120319_1993914795 (2) 8 For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— 9 not by works, so that no one can boast.
So right there we see that even our faith comes from God, so then again I ask why do I hang on to those stinking handles? I think sometimes the reason we hang on to them is this is what we know.  When things in our lives get tough, we tend to go back to what we know, so we hang on to items from our past; I know for me it’s a safety mechanism. This is not a productive nor healthy mechanism, but to me it was safety.

But this is not the way God wants us to live in a constant state of fear of what if’s. He has taken me so far outside my comfort zone this last year, and in every instance He proves himself faithful, and generous.  1st Peter 5:7 says, Cast all your anxiety (burdens) on him because He cares for you, I have done more of this consciously the past couple of years,  and I can honestly say that I have come through with more freedom, then I have ever had in my life. I will say again, that I do slip back into my old habits, but He who loves me is faithful to to gently remind me of who He is and who I am in Him. So the next time your tempted to hang on to those handles remember this,  Gal 5:1 It is freedom that Christ has set us free. STAND FIRM,then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by the yoke of slavery. Can I get an Amen!! And do I hear the sound of handles hitting the floor!

My hero lost his mask

I know that super heroes are for comics and cartoons, and are even on the big screen, I guess that is where they should always stay. My hero lost his mask; my hero was my dad. I was a daddy’s girl through and through. I never though it was my dads fault when he and my mother divorced, I never thought it was his fault when he didn’t come see me or my brother.  I always blamed my mom, after all it had to be her fault , right? Well maybe it was both of them. I started to see the mask slipping about a year and half ago, in May, my granddaughter Lydia was being born 7 weeks premature. I was so worried about my baby and my baby’s baby, it was a rough time. I called and of course told my parents. My mom constantly called and checked on them, my dad nope, not one. Well I kinda let that slip by. Then something happened between my brother and dad, that I was like Wow , really?  It’s crazy how we can accept so much before saying no more.  Then this Christmas, the mask completely fell off. I really saw my dad as the imperfect person that he is. It broke my heart. I always idolized him, which in reality isn’t fair to him. But tell me how many little girls or little boys don’t do that? Well here’s the thing, I’m not little any more I am a grown woman, who has raised 5 kids! My prince charming and I could never ignore our kids! My brother has grown up into a wonderful father even without a good  example of a dad.  That day I realized which it was Christmas day, my hero was gone. I was angry, I cried, I mourned for my fantasy to be reality. None of which was going to  happen.  I was so done! Not going to deal with him anymore, if I and my family mean so little to him. But then guess what, the new year was approaching, I got a call again from my dad, which was extremely rare. My step mom had passed away. My father and step mom had been separated for over 5 years, but it was a very sad wake up call. I do not want to be bitter, I don’t want to harbor forgiveness. That stuff will eat you up. I “preach” to others about forgiving people who have wronged them and then I was unwilling to forgive. Boy you  talk about needing a slap from the Father! But then again He doesn’t usually slap me, He cradles me and whispers softly and tenderly to me. And I knew I needed to let all this go. Is it easy NOPE!!!! does it still hurt YEP!!!! Has my dad changed or apologized, NOPE!!! But none of that matters, I cannot harbor this forgiveness or I will become what I hate! You may say I should never place a human in the position to be my hero, and yes that is true, but guess what I AM HUMAN!! I will say it is a struggle to let this go and there are days it is already creeping back up, so I pray and pray, let the Father take care of this.  It’s a process and it’s not an easy one, I  guess if it was we wouldn’t need the Holy Spirit to guide us. Happy New year!

For Reelz: "Batman: Mask of the Phantasm" (1993)

Happy New Year 2016

Happy New year everyone! I pray that this year you will be blessed. That you will seek God first in all you do, then I also hope you are all healthy and your struggles are minimal.

This year has started on a sad note for my family, My step mother Barbara Lancaster has passed away at the age of 75, due to heart problems. Although my dad and her have been separated for over 5 years, she was a vital part of my life and my kids. She treated us like family, that doesn’t always happen.  It makes you realize during these times what is important in life. It’s God, your family, your friends, your health. These are my priorities, what are yours? This year I plan to be more intentional in what I do and say, this includes writing my blogs. There is some heavy stuff God has placed on my heart that I will be sharing, I do not plan on hurting anyone, but I feel some of this needs to be said OUT LOUD!!! Please pray for me that I do His will and say the things He wants not what I feel needs to be said. With that in mind I wanted to leave you with a little Irish blessing!

<b>Irish Blessing</b>